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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  November 26, 2011 12:00am-1:05am EST

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>> reporter: for all the families, both giving and receiving, it's been a true lesson of thanksgiving. >> happy thanksgiving! >> reporter: for "nightline," i'm juju chang in baltimore, maryland. >> finding the true spirit of giving. good night, america. tonight on kimmel live -- the name of the special is kim and kris fairy tale wedding. key word, fairy tale. do we also believe jack and the bean stock were real? >> ellen degeneres. >> i think we share a level of nice. >> i think we know who's nicer but anyway, the point is --. >> gabourey sidibe and music
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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- ellen degeneres. gabourey sidibe. and music from chris isaak. with cleto and the cletones. and now, it's that time again. here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. hi, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show.
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thanks for watching. thanks for meeting me here on such short notice. i don't feel like making jokes tonight. who is ready to cry their eyes out tonight? come on. all right. there were a lot of tears today in justin bieber-ville. have you heard of justin bieber the kid with the muppet on his head? a 20-year-old woman named mariah yeater has filed a lawsuit claiming that justin bieber is the father of her 3-month-old son. it's his first paternity suit, they grow up so fast. [ laughter ] yeater claims she took justin's virginity backstage at one of his concerts last year. she was 19. he was 16. so, in other words, if this did happen, she committed statutory rape and would like to be paid for it. she's seeking child support and wants justin to scientifically confirm that he is the dad and by scientifically confirm, she means go on "the maury povich show" with her. [ laughter ] here's a photograph of mariah, by the way. you can see the toilet really brings out the crazy in her
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eyes. 3 billion women in the world, that's who canadian elvis loses his virginity to? [ laughter ] i don't think so. i find it very hard to believe that this is justin bieber's kid, but i do have a possible explanation as to why she thinks she is. let's do the math. if the baby is 3 months old, it took nine months to bake and that means he was conceived a year ago, which happened to be right around halloween. maybe she just thinks she had sex with justin bieber and instead she had sex with this guy or possibly this guy or maybe it was this guy. i don't know. no, that's a dog. that's probably not -- probably not the father. but the whole thing seems like a scam to me. and maybe you are asking why i would dignify this ridiculous lawsuit by mentioning it and the answer is, i have a strict policy about this sort of thing. i will not and do not publicize unsubstantiated rumors about anyone -- unless they're very funny.
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and then i make exceptions. [ laughter ] our nation's news media had fun with this today. it's probably not a story, they've been very creative in trying to make it one. see if you recognize any kind of a theme through-line here. >> justin bieber might be singing more than just baby, baby, baby. he could be having one. >> is it really his baby, baby, baby? >> justin bieber may not be singing baby, baby anymore. >> baby, baby, baby. >> oh, baby, baby. >> oh, baby, baby, no. >> oh, baby, baby, no. >> more like baby baby daddy baby? >> baby, baby, baby daddy? >> baby, baby, baby. >> baby, baby, baby. >> baby, baby, baby, oh. >> oh, man. >> baby, baby, baby, oh. >> jimmy: baby, baby, baby is the new 9-9-9. it's sweeping the nation.
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that would be a story, if justin bieber had impregnated herman cain. you know this guy, herman cain, the presidential candidate? former godfather's pizza ceo. he made a campaign stop in alexandria, virginia, today. today, a third former female employee told the associated press she was sexually harassed. which, why are we surprised by this? in the porno movies, the pizza guy is always making sexual advances. [ laughter ] cain was at a doctor's conference to talk about health care reform but reporters there had no interest in that. they wanted to talk about sex. whereas herman cain did not. >> i'm here with these doctors and that's what i'm going to talk about. so don't even bother asking me all of these other questions that you all are curious about, okay? don't even bother. >> are you concerned about the fact that these women -- >> what did i say? excuse me? excuse me? >> jimmy: i'm trying to get a prostate exam here! [ laughter ] after that, he asked reporters
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what part of no don't you understand. which seems ironic, given the circumstances, but -- [ laughter ] interested in the sexual harassment allegations does not seem to be going away. a lawyer from one of the accusers says now because cain is talking about the case, his client should be allowed to talk about this, and that will be interesting. but it makes it hard for herman cain to talk about anything else, about any of issues and of course this is all very, very good news for cain's opponent mitt romney. >> hi, fellow republicans. mitt romney here. as you know, for the last three months, i've been talking all kinds of [ bleep ] about how we need to kick out the mexicans and repeal obama care. all to try to win your votes. well, guess what. that was all a big bottle of a-1 crapola. the truth is, i'm a pro-choice moderate from massachusetts who passed a big old government health care plan. and i know global warming is real. don't like it? too bad. because you're going to vote for me anyway.
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i'm all you got left. game over, baby. i win! oh, and in case you didn't hear, i'm a mormon! >> mitt romney. he's all you got. paid for by anyone but obama. >> jimmy: well, finally, an honest politician. [ cheers and applause ] in more important news, kim kardashian is speaking out about her divorce, finally. it's been almost two days. [ laughter ] by now you probably know that kim kardashian and her professional basketball player husband kris humphries filed for divorce on monday after being married for only 72 days. i really thought these two were going to make it to -- to thanksgiving, but -- [ laughter ] kim is insisting that she really did marry for love and not publicity. she said her agent was very clear that a love marriage was the most lucrative in terms of selling home video rights. her mother, kris, this morning, asked that we respect her family's privacy during this difficult time. of course, she said this while
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speaking into tv cameras on "the today show" and "the view" promoting a book called "all things kardashian." it's funny that people are upset about this, like they've been betrayed. the name of the special was "kim and kris's fairy tale wedding." key words being "fairy tale." do we also believe that "jack and the bean stalk" was real? speaking of weddings, someone sent me this video today. it's a guy surprising his girlfriend with a marriage proposal at her birthday party because he's cheap and this happened. >> i had to get her something, so, i figured that i would just do this. would you marry me? >> jimmy: i guess the converted garage and two balloons were too much romance for her to handle. [ laughter ] this is why it's important to
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only propose in bouncy castles. [ laughter ] there's a new episode of "the x factor" tonight. on the fox network. have you been watching "the x factor"? i have to say, it took me awhile to warm up, but now it's become one of my favorite shows on tv with the word "factor" in the title. somewhere between "fear" and "o'reilly." tonight is the first time viewers got to vote. you're allowed to vote 50 times. and, remember, voting 50 times isn't just a right, it's your responsibility as an american. fans can vote via twitter, facebook, telephone, text message, online, using the x factor app or by writing their choice on a paper plate and throwing it over paula abdul's fence. the only way to vote for president of the united states is by mail or scan-tron. so we've got our priorities straight. congress was hard at work yesterday. they voted 396-9 to reaffirm "in god we trust" as our national motto. i still don't know why we would
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trust god after what he did to kim kardashian and kris, but -- [ laughter ] apparently we do. the vote wasn't unanimous mouse. some people don't believe religion has a place on u.s. currency but -- and in fact there was a motion to replace "in god we trust," which we have on the dollar bill, with this phrase, "snooki lives here." but that was voted down. it does have a nice ring to it. [ laughter ] and one more thing. on monday night, i issued a challenge to the parents of america. i asked parents to pretend they ate all their kid's halloween candy and videotape that and post it to youtube under the heading "hey jimmy kimmel, i told my kids i ate all their halloween candy" and a lot of people did, and i guess i didn't expect so much crying. [ laughter ] i kind of thought the kids would be mad, just mad. almost every one of them cries. but we got what we got. and to those children whose tears are about to be on immortalized on television, i
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apologize in advance. >> guess what happened to your candy, blake. i ate it all. >> no! iate yours too, allen. >> me and mommy ate it last night when you were asleep. >> i ate all your halloween candy last night. >> daddy, where's the candy? >> what candy? >> daddy! >> ate all the candy? >> ate all your candy. >> no. >> i'm so sorry. i tricked you. dad's going to eat all your candy.
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>> oh. >> i tricked you. >> i'm very, very sorry, rachel. i ate all your halloween candy. how much was it? oh, oh, rachel, i'm sorry. you know i like candy, rachel. do you still love me? >> nuh-uh. >> i ate all the candy. >> what? >> i'm so sorry. it just -- i'm pregnant and i get really hungry. i ate all of it. >> let me go check. you didn't eat all the candy. >> did you eat my candy? >> i ate them last night. i took them to work with me. >> why would you do that! why! >> last night we stayed up and we ate all your candy. are you guys okay with that? >> no! >> why? >> no!
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>> mandy, calm down, mandy. >> dad, you're ugly! >> i ate all your candy. you have no more halloween candy left. >> what? >> you ate it? what the heck? >> mom! >> don't you guys think you ate enough candy last night? >> no. i only had, like, one bite of candy. are you serious? you're probably going to get a belly ache. why do you need to eat so much candy? mom, that's two. >> two what? >> two bags of candy. >> equals five. >> did you see how much i had? i went to a lot of houses. >> i know. i ate it all.
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it tasted so good. especially the peanut butter cups. >> no, sneaky mom! >> jimmy: thanks to all the sneaky moms and sneaky dads. kids are very unstable. [ applause ] we have a good show for you tonight. gabourey sidibe is here. we have music from chris isaak. and we'll be right back with ellen degeneres, so stick around. ♪ christmas is here [playback of card] ♪ christmas is here ♪ fa la la la [playback of card] ♪ fa la la la [playback of cards] ♪ christmas is here. fa la la la ♪ ♪ ding dong [playback of cards] ♪ christmas is here, christmas is here, fa la la la ♪
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and then there are cars that can become a wifi hotspot. the ford focus with the industry-first sync with myford touch. >> jimmy: hi there, welcome back to the program. tonight, a delightful young woman who, starting friday, you can see alongside ben stiller and eddie murphy in the movie "tower heist," which is not based on the novel "push" by sapphire, gabourey sidibe is with us. and then, with music from this new album, which is empty -- they all are empty, you have to pay extra for the music. chris isaak from the bud light stage. it's called "beyond the sun," we've got another great line up for you tomorrow. eddie murphy will be here, manny pacquiao will be with us, and we'll have music from chickenfoot. please join us tomorrow. our first guest is an
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emmy-winning actress and comedian who hosts a very funny talk show and has a new book, her third book, in fact. it is a "new york times" best-seller called "seriously, i'm kidding." please say hello to ellen degeneres. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? >> good, thank you. >> jimmy: when i say how are you, i mean -- how are you? because -- [ applause ] i heard you had to miss work because you're sick. >> it's the first -- we've done, this is our ninth season, i never missed a day and yesterday i could not go to work. whoever said the show must go on did not have what i had yesterday. i really always -- i've been, you know, i've been sick before, i've gone to work sick but i was just -- i don't even know. i was so sick yesterday -- there
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was just no way. >> jimmy: what was wrong? what happened? >> you know that movie "on the "contagion," i think it was that. whatever they had in that movie. i think i had that. >> jimmy: that bad? >> i'm better now. don't worry, everybody. >> jimmy: you missed taping your show? >> i went online to try to figure it out and that's confusing. you know? do you know that web md thing? so it was either bronchitis or appendicitis or i'm pregnant or -- i don't know. [ laughter ] i don't know what it is. >> jimmy: combination of the three? >> it was bad enough that i stayed home yesterday. so, have you ever missed work? >> jimmy: once. i had appendicitis and i also went on web md, one of those websites, i diagnosed myself. i called my doctor, said, my appendix is about to burst and he laughed at me. and then i went in and he said, congratulations, you're the first patient who has ever correctly diagnosed himself on the internet. >> wow. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i was happy, too. >> so what -- so you were
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having, i mean, what are the symptoms? in case that's what i'm having. >> jimmy: on one side of your bold, you have pain and then it's down in the, the belt region here. >> and when you push on it and release, that's what you do to check, right? >> jimmy: yeah. >> when you release, it's worst? >> jimmy: if you start crying when that happens, you know you have something serious going on. that's not what you have? >> not that. all kinds of other things. nausea, which is bad to have that feeling and fever and -- when i have fever i cry. it's not pretty. just not good. i didn't want to host the show crying. like -- nobody wants to see -- like you said, start the show, let's just cry. >> jimmy: people aren't into that. >> not into crying. but i highly recommend, if anybody is out there that is sick, my book is a wonderful thing to do. >> jimmy: is that right? [ applause ] >> for people in the northeast right now, there's snow, power
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outages and it's best read by candle light anyway, so -- and it's also available audio book, because i have many, many ill literal fans, and i didn't want them to miss out, so, you have -- you have no excuse to -- that will help you. >> jimmy: are things good on the show other than the disease and all this? >> oh, yeah. things are great. i love doing the show. it's a very -- it's a very happy, as you know, you've been there. it's a different kind of show. you come here, it's a little darker, it's tight anytime and edgier here. we are all kind of happy and cheery and -- not that you're not happy and cheery, but -- it's -- it's -- especially nailing -- jimmy is good, because jim would have been more serious. >> jimmy: my dad's jim. he gets jim, i get jimmy and if there will be another one, jamicia or something. >> please have one just for that. do it. >> jimmy: i enjoy your show. you give gifts. a lot -- you gave me a go cart that has become a big hit in my house. >> really? do you use it?
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>> jimmy: oh, yes. >> it's best on slippery surfaces. it's a little rough -- >> jimmy: i use it outside. driving it around the house, i think -- even though i'm not living with my mother i think she would still be mad at that, but -- yeah, i take it out in the neighborhood and spin it around. >> that's great. you gave me, i think there's a bottle of dom in there. thank you for that. >> jimmy: is there? >> i think so. >> jimmy: that's from me. me and dom. we pitched in on it together. >> and also you have a band, which i like because -- it's nice to have a band. you can just go -- wait. ♪ >> jimmy: maybe it's not that great. >> anyway, never mind. i just thought something would happen. oh! yeah. i didn't know what i expected but something was going to happen. >> jimmy: do you feel like things are more wide open now that oprah has retired? >> ah --
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't mean just on the show. i mean in general, in life. >> in life, yes. >> jimmy: walking the streets, i feel freer. >> it is definitely -- i can't say that -- it hasn't hurt our ratings. we are doing better than ever. pause because she was definitely competition during the day. and a lot of time periods we were on opposite her and then in a lot of markets we got her time period when she left. so, the ratings are a lot better. >> jimmy: so you're like, see you later. >> yeah. >> jimmy: don't let the door hit you on the way out. >> that's right. i'll call in sick now. i don't care. i don't need to worry about anything. >> jimmy: commitment. but again, going on your show is just -- there's a very, very pleasant environment, just in general from beginning to end, as a guest, i feel it. i think the audience feels it. >> i feel like it is -- first of all, i love doing that. i love making people happy and making people feel good. it is who i am. just like it is, you know, with you. i mean, you're a nice guy.
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and you can genuinely feel that. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. we're, you know, like equally nice i would say. >> yeah, i mean -- well, i think we know who is nicer. but anyway, the point is -- the point is we're both nice and that's the point. >> jimmy: well -- there's -- i mean, there are different levels of nice but i think our level, we share a level of nice. >> we share a level and then there's one beyond. but it doesn't matter -- [ laughter ] it doesn't matter. >> jimmy: see, i think just saying that alone proves that i'm -- >> well, if you want proof, are you going to go there? do you want proof? >> jimmy: we don't have to go there. >> let's go to proof. >> jimmy: we don't. >> we proved it earlier today, it was a surprise to me and i thought, okay, if you are going to ambush me like this, we're going to show the tape. >> jimmy: all right. well, let's show the tape then and let people decide. >> let the people decide. >> it is true? >> jimmy: is what true? >> ellen. is she here? >> jimmy: i don't know. let's check.
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there she is. >> excuse me, hi, i just want to say i'm a big fan of the show. >> well, thank you. i'm a fan of you. if you want to come, i'll give you a card and you can call me and if you want, call the office or my home number is on there, as well and i'll set you up. >> thank you so much. >> sure. let's hug. okay. >> wow. ellen degeneres is very nice. >> jimmy: what's that supposed to mean? i'm nice. >> nah. she's very nice. >> are you hungry? >> yeah. >> i have something here for you. what is your name? >> brandon. >> it says brandon right there. >> it does say brandon. gosh, i wish i worked for you, ellen. >> jimmy: can you believe this? guillermo? >> ellen, ellen degeneres. do you have anymore of those tofu -- >> jimmy: guillermo. >> i have one for you, big g. >> oh, thank you very much. you have a parking lot on your
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show? >> i do, yeah. >> and you have a security guard? >> not one as handsome as you. >> oh, thank you very much. >> jimmy: put it down. >> hey, jimmy. >> jimmy: put it down. hi, how are you? >> how are you? you can eat it. go ahead. >> jimmy: proud of yourself? >> not that i'm proud of myself, i was just trying to be nice. >> jimmy: i'm nice, too. just as nice as you are, people just don't know about it because i don't ever do any nice things. >> you are nice. >> jimmy: i know. i'm nicer. a lot nicer. >> okay, you're nicer. >> jimmy: you don't believe me, do you? >> i mean -- >> jimmy: i guess there's only one way to settle this. >> oh, my god.
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nice-off! >> nice-off! nice-off! nice-off! nice-off! ♪ >> all: nice-off! nice-off! nice-off! nice-off! >> okay. you ready? because i have to get to an animal shelter i'm volunteering tonight at. >> jimmy: oh, no -- i'm actually volunteering at a homeless shelter tonight, i'm helping them shelt, so, yeah, let's do this. >> i can't believe how much weight you've lost. i didn't think it was possible for you to be anymore handsome. but i guess i was wrong. >> you know, you really knocked it out of the park in "finding nemo." >> you cannot compare a cartoon to what you do every single night. i love your show. i can't get enough of it. i wish it was on more.
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>> jimmy: how about "american idol"? you were great on that. >> your skin is so smooth and soft. it looks like it would be like a newborn dolphin or something. >> jimmy: you're eyes are so blue. when i look into them, through my normal yucky brownish eyes, i -- it's like looking at the two circles of heaven. and i love that scarf. [ applause ] >> okay. somebody get me some water. >> jimmy: oh, please get miss degeneres some water immediately! >> this is for jimmy.
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i'm so worried about you getting dehydrated. i worry about you so much sometimes. ♪ ave maria >> jimmy: i can't. >> that's why you don't [ bleep ] with ellen. let's have a dance party up in here! >> jimmy: you win this round, degeneres. ellen degeneres. we'll be right back. ♪
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>> jimmy: hey there, we're back with ellen degeneres. gabourey sidibe and chris isaak on the way. this is ellen's book. "seriously, i'm kidding." and you love to move? >> i do love to move. i -- i've always moved -- when i was a kid, i think, we moved all the time and i'm just used to that so it never was a big deal. it wasn't traumatizing because it happened every, like, two years. so, as an adult i just got used to moving. plus, i like houses and experiencing different kinds of
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architecture. i like spanish and contemporary, i like, just a lot of -- >> jimmy: most people hate to move. >> i know. >> jimmy: the packing and all that stuff. you're okay with that? >> oh, i don't do that. the moving people love me. they love me. but i don't -- yeah, i don't like to pack up stuff but i do like to move and i kind of like to start over with new furniture, sometimes i sell houses furnished. >> jimmy: you and portia are on the cover of "architecture digest." the house is beautiful. you have to abandon it soon. >> we may be. >> jimmy: you are? >> maybe so. >> jimmy: of course. this is -- look at this. get a tight shot of that. >> the closet is very -- you can see whose is whose. yeah. >> jimmy: yours looks like a cartoon character's side. >> thank you. >> jimmy: wow. and so, yeah, well, you have to have enough room for your sneakers. that's very important to me, too. >> it is.
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my mother's moved and i talk about that in the book, my mother moved, but i liked -- i don't like to accumulate stuff. i really -- i like to purge. i like to start fresh and i like, you know, i don't like to keep stuff. so, but my mother moved and i've helped her move and there's a chapter in there, literally, she -- i'm unpacking stuff and i paid for people to pack her up and move her and then i helped her unpack and i'm unpacking and i'm like, there's one harmonica, which is ridiculous because she doesn't play harmonica. then i come across another one that was so rusted you would get, need a tetanus shot if you put your lips near it. there were four packed up. and an unopened box of abs of steel and hip hop abs and they were vhs tapes so nobody even -- and she just moves things from -- >> jimmy: she won't get rid of that stuff. my mother, the same thing go in the garage, let's get rid of this. no, no, we may need that -- this
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video game system doesn't even exist anymore. we won't need that. >> right. i don't know -- if she does play harmonica, i would -- she plays violin. she is instrumental but not harmonica. >> jimmy: right. well, you know, the harmonica is easier to carry around. thank you for being here. wonderful to have you here. and if you like ellen, you will love her book. it's called "seriously, i'm kidding." it is in bookstores -- >> it's in bookstores. >> jimmy: and of course "ellen" weekdays in syndication, taking up all of oprah's former audience. we'll be right back with gabourey sidibe.
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>> jimmy: well, hi there. still to come, chris isaak will be with us. in 2010, our next guest made history when she became the first gabourey ever nominated for an academy award. you can see her starting friday in the new ben stiller-eddie murphy movie "tower heist." please welcome gabourey sidibe. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: how are you doing? >> good. >> jimmy: everything good? >> yeah. i had a lot of shots back there. >> jimmy: you had a lot of shots? flu shots or these kinds of shots? how many did you have? >> i had like a triple. >> jimmy: you did? >> of one. i'm doing well. >> jimmy: of what? tequila? >> yeah. >> jimmy: see that, guillermo? you could have been enjoying yourself? >> where were you? i invited you to the party. >> next time. >> jimmy: next time he'll catch you on the way offstage, too. you know, the last time you were here, we talked about ghosts and you being haunted. >> so nerdy. >> jimmy: did they come back for halloween? did they come trick or treating at your home? >> no, they are kind of gone now. at least i don't pay attention to them. they are in my everyday life but i love halloween. >> jimmy: you do? >> my favorite holiday. >> jimmy: it is? >> yeah. >> jimmy: what did you dress up as?
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>> i actually didn't. here's what happened. so, the friday before halloween -- >> jimmy: you must really love it then. >> i really, really love it but i couldn't this time because apparently i'm incredibly recognizable. i wore a full mask on the friday before halloween and everyone knew who i was and i was disappointed. >> jimmy: oh, really? where did you go? >> i went to some club with a friend of mine and i went to the bar first, clearly, and, i was like, this is cool, i'm incognito and the bartender gave me a free drink and i was like, something's up. something's up. and i paid for it and i didn't even pay with my credit card but the bartender wrote on the receipt, i love you, you rock. i'm like, crap, we have to get out of here. >> jimmy: what was the mask? >> it was -- had sequins on it, yellow with feathers and stuff. really pretty. very festive. >> jimmy: well, that's what you get for being famous. that's what happens. now, do kids come to your door or anything like that? >> no, kids don't come to my
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building. if they did, i wouldn't share my candy, either. i'm not good at sharing. >> jimmy: you don't go home and send them away? >> yeah. i'll give them money. like, i'm that person. >> jimmy: how much? >> i'd give -- i'm pretty rich, so -- $100 bill each. no. everyone is getting quarters like i did when i was young. >> jimmy: if you got quarters, that was a big deal. i mean, really. >> to a kid. they think that's a million dollars. >> jimmy: absolutely. they're very stupid, these kids. >> yeah. >> jimmy: now i heard you are learning to drive. what has possessed you to now learn to drive? >> okay, so i live in new york so i don't really need to. i come out to l.a. a lot and i'm always like stranded because i can't drive and i don't want to bum rides from my friends. i'm too proud to beg. and so i was like, all right, you're 28, learn how to drive. >> jimmy: who is teaching you? >> it's totally legal. i know this kid --
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[ laughter ] but he's a really good driver. he's like 12 1/2 but he's really good. he's older, he's like 19 or 20 or something. and he only takes me to drive, like, after midnight. >> jimmy: a teenager? why does he only -- why after midnight? >> that's what time he gets off of work. >> jimmy: i see. >> yeah. >> jimmy: really? >> he works at starbucks, too. >> jimmy: do you pay him? >> no. he's so sweet. he won't take my money but he has to take that six-hour driving class, his license or whatever goes down. i don't understand cars, obviously. but i'm going to pay for that class. >> jimmy: was he charged with something? >> no, no, no. but your insurance, like, will go down if you take this class. >> jimmy: oh, i see. >> no, he's an excellent driver for 12. >> jimmy: and so, okay, then you'll buy a car, i would guess. >> i don't know. probably going to rent for awhile. >> jimmy: rent a car. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and when do you think you'll be ready to actually drive and take the test?
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>> according to my child instructor, i'm ready to go now. he thinks i'm ready now. i want to get it in december. >> jimmy: that seems ill-advised. but i think it's -- >> no, i'm awesome. okay, so, the first time he taught me how to parallel park, i did it perfectly and when we drove to another spot, he was like, do it here. i guess i was too close to the other car and i ended up, like, the guy's mirror was out and i just hit it and i moved his mirror in. i folded it for him. >> jimmy: all right. >> i was totally an accident but how nice am i that i -- i did him a favor. >> jimmy: that's -- no. luckily those mirrors fall in now. you can't be accountable for that. >> i didn't scratch or anything. i'm not like one of those jerks that hits your car and doesn't leave a note. >> jimmy: you just hit the car and get -- >> i leave as soon as possible. i flee. >> jimmy: this movie is -- how old are you?
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oh, you said 28. >> yeah, 28. almost 45. >> jimmy: to you, eddie murphy -- you weren't around when he was doing standup comedy specials and "saturday night live." he's like the voice of, in "shrek" or something to you, right? >> no, no, he's hakeem from "coming to america" to me. >> jimmy: i see. >> and the dude from "the golden child," my top ten favorite movies. a leather suit, come on. >> jimmy: you guys have a great scene in the movie where you are cracking a safe and all of a sudden you start coming onto eddie murphy and the two of you start going back and forth. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and, so -- talking suggestively to each other. >> trying to hit it. >> jimmy: trying to hit it. >> yeah. call it what it is, jimmy. >> jimmy: and this was an unscripted moment or -- >> it was completely unscripted. our director -- eddie had no idea it was going to happen. brett came over to me, said, flirt with eddie. i said, yes, my captain.
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my captain. so, like, you know, rolling, action, and i just start leaning into him, like, hitting on him hard core. >> jimmy: and he rolls with it? >> yeah. he seemed surprised at first. and then he was like, "what's up?" it's amazing. it got sexy, too. >> jimmy: you were excited by this. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and by the way, when you wear the stethoscope and you are opening -- does that really work? does that ever happen in real life? >> it does work. they actually brought in a dude to, like, teach me how. to crack the safe. and this dude is like the world's best safe cracker. like, he is awesome but probably a little shady. just probably. he was super nice but that's a weird hobby. but -- and, like, yeah. you have to listen to, like, the clicks in the safe. when it clicks differently, you pull it and boom, it's open. >> jimmy: you can do this. we have to steal something. >> i learned how to do it.
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yeah, no, i'm auditioning friends who work at banks. >> jimmy: not a bad idea. and i will say, most people learn to drive before they learn to crack a safe. but you've -- accomplished the unaccomplishable. >> exactly. >> jimmy: great to see you. congratulations on the movie. it's called "tower heist," it opens friday. gabourey sidibe, everybody. we'll be right back with chris isaak.
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>> jimmy: this is his new album. it's called "beyond the sun." here with his take on the johnny cash classic "ring of fire," chris isaak. ♪ ♪ love is a burning thing it burns this fiery ring ♪ ♪ bound by wild desire i fell into a ring of fire ♪ ♪ i fell into a burning ring of fire i went down, down, down ♪ ♪ and those flames grew higher ♪
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♪ and it burns, burns, burns the ring of fire the ring of fire ♪ ♪ ♪ i fell into a burning ring of fire i went down, down, down ♪ ♪ and those flames grew higher ♪ ♪ and it burns, burns, burns the ring of fire the ring of fire ♪ ♪ the taste of love is sweet when hearts like ours meet ♪ ♪ i fell for you just like a child oh but the fire went wild ♪


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